Wow, Football Really Sucks This Year (For me)

I'm a big-time football fan. Always have been, since I was seven or eight. I love the game, love the pageantry, love the controlled violence. Football is the ultimate team game -- one player misses an assignment and the efforts of his ten teammates is wasted. A single player can carry a basketball team or a baseball team or a soccer team, but a single outstanding football player surrounded by mediocre ones is destined for failure.

Let me tell you, I'm not liking football very much this season. You see, my rooting interests are stinking up the joint. At the college level, my beloved Nebraska got creamed last week by USC, and on Saturday needed a last minute touchdown followed by a missed field goal to squeak by Ball State. At home. Ball State. We gave up 40 points. To Ball State. At home.

During the Devaney/Osborne years my Huskers would have rolled Ball State for six-hundred yards and a 53-6 pasting. Today, the vaunted "Blackshirts" (Nebraska's once-proud defense) are leaving holes so large that even I could probably go for 153 and four TD's, and I'm 47 years old.

Sunday was even worse, as my St. Louis Rams continued their free fall into the nether regions of the NFL. The Rams lost 24-3 to Tampa Bay, a team that won only four games last season, and the final score was in no way indicative of how bad it was. Down just 3-0 at the half, at no time did one have the sense the Rams were ever in the game. The Rams are now missing -- due to either injury or suspension -- four offensive linemen, a defensive lineman, a starting linebacker and their two starting cornerbacks. The Rams have guys now starting who were in street clothes just two weeks ago. 0-16 is starting to look realistic for this bunch this year, and the coach is a dead man walking.

If it weren't for my son's Pop Warner flag football team, 4-0 and coming off a big win versus our biggest rival, this football season would be a total loss. Maybe I should become a soccer fan.

Quit Blaming the Democrats

Again, there seems to be much angst among the blogosphere and liberal talk radio against the Democrats on capital hill for the Senate's failure to pass measures pushing back against the President's failed policies. This week alone, the Senate failed to pass a bill rescinding the abolishing of Habeus Corpus for so-called "enemy combatants," failed to pass the Jim Webb amendment that would have mandated more leave time for our soldiers, and failed to pass a measure mandating a time-line for troop withdrawal in Iraq. Much of the chatter amongst liberals is that these failures are but a growing symptom of Democrat's unwillingness to actually do something about Bush's executive power-grab.

It's time for a little civic's lesson here, folks. In the Senate, no bill may be brought to the floor for an "up or down" majority vote until debate is closed. It takes 60 votes to close debate. The vote to close debate is called a "cloture vote." The Democrats have 50 members in the Senate, plus an independent, who used to call himself a Democrat and who caucuses with the Democrats, but who usually votes with the Republicans.

O.K., repeat after me: we don't have the votes in the Senate to close debate.

Once again, a little differently: the Senate Democrats can't get past a cloture vote. The Republicans are free to obstruct anything they want. Yes, the same Republicans who, not too long ago, threatened the "nuclear option" of scrapping Senate rules that today allow them to hang on to a thread of seeming power. The Democrats can't pass any bill unless at least nine Republicans go along with it, and that's assuming Joe Lieberman would actually toe the line.

Quit blaming the Democrats for not stopping the occupation (I refuse to call Bush's Folly a "war" any longer). If anything, blame yourselves for allowing so many Republicans to remain in their senate posts for so long. And pray that nine more Republicans are thrown from their Senate seats in 2008, so Democrats can affect some real change, regardless of who holds the White House.

More Random Thoughts On the Day's News

A new study finds that Southern California commuters waste, on average, seventy hours per year stuck in traffic. Seventy hours per year? Are you kidding me? All I can say is, from my perspective, there are a whole lot of folks out here not doing their fair share of traffic time.

Other than George W. Bush, is there a dumber man ever to grace this great nation than O.J. Simpson?

Speaking of Bush, now he says he wants Congress to make his illegal domestic wiretap program permanently legal. The next time I have the urge to call Bush a lazy slacker, I'm going to remember his grand legacy, his one shining accomplishment: first president to burn the Constitution in effigy.

Iraqi leaders want to shove Blackwater out of their country for shooting a bunch of innocent civilians. If they come up with the gumption to throw out the other 100,000-plus hired mercenaries, er, "contractors" we have fighting there it could be a real turning point in this mess. Take away the mercenaries, er, "contractors" and there's no way our over-stretched and broken military can avoid being run over by the burgeoning civil war, er, "sectarian violence." Bush will have to make one of two choices: either reinstate the draft or get us the hell out.

As you can see from the previous paragraph, I've pretty much had it with the misleading labels the righties have come up with for explaining this "war." In fact, we're not waging a "war," we're conducting an occupation. We're not dealing with "sectarian violence," we're conducting our occupation in the middle of a civil war. These are not "contractors" out killing innocent people, they are hired mercenaries. We are not "building Democracy," we're protecting our oil interests. And, for the love of God, we're not "fighting them over there so we don't have to fight them over here," we're fighting them over there because that's the best venue for Haliburton to make the most money possible from the blood and guts of our brave men and women. Note to Republicans: quit trying to tell us the sky is green and water is dry. We know better.

More Random Thoughts On the Day's News

Producers of the EMMY's telecast last night bleeped out Sally Field when she exclaimed "If mothers ruled the world there wouldn't be any God damned wars in the first place!" Let me see if I've got this straight: a program based upon the Mob and featuring murder and mayhem is worthy of countless EMMY awards, but taking God's name in vain is a no no.

I have no idea, other than what I've read in the paper, who this Mukasey guy is. I just know he can't possibly be a worse Attorney General than Gonzo. On the other hand, if he maintains even a semblance of independence from the president and promises to faithfully execute his office -- even if it leads to evidence of Republican malfeasance -- he may not be confirmable, because the Republicans will filibuster rather than run the risk of more indictments before the 2008 elections.

I heard on the radio of a poll of some 2000 plus Iraqi citizens in Anbar Province, a place the president insists is a beacon of light made safe by his "surge." The poll reported that 100% -- that's everyone, folks -- agreed that attacking "coalition forces" was O.K. I don't know what's more disconcerting: that every citizen in Anbar thinks it's a good idea to attack our troops, or that the administration is still trying to peddle this whole mess as a "coalition." 140,000 U.S. troops and one guy each from Poland, Argentina and Albania does not a coalition make. Even the Brits have pulled out. Can we please stop the charade and quit calling this thing a "coalition of the willing," and instead call it what it is: A "mistake of the stupid."

California has passed a law mandating hands-free kits when using a cellular phone in the car. The law doesn't take effect until July 2008, which isn't nearly soon enough for me. Just today I saw a woman driving erratically in the fast lane at fifty miles an hour in a 65 zone. Sure enough, when I passed her she was driving with her knees, talking on the phone and applying lipstick at the same time. Listen up people! A car is not the proper environment to perfect your multi-tasking skills. Hang up and drive.

Cheating Patriots Get Off Easy

So the NFL has found the New England Patriots guilty of cheating in a most nefarious way. Seems Bill Belichick and company have been video-taping the opposing team's defensive coaches as they signal in their plays. No wonder the common lament of Patriots opponents -- "it was almost like they were in our huddle" -- now rings so true: in effect, they were.

Yet the penalties handed down by the league -- a measly $750,000 in fines and a lost number one draft pick -- seem benign given the gravity of the offense. After all, league history might read differently had the Patriots not cheated.

Take, for example, their Super Bowl victory over the Rams following the 2001 season. They didn't exactly roll to victory in that game. Indeed, despite the referee's unwillingness to call illegal contact against Patriots players who mugged St. Louis receivers all game long, the Patriots only won with a last-second drive aided by a blown non-call when Tom Brady intentionally grounded the ball.

Who knows how that game -- and league history -- might have turned out had the Patriots not known the Ram's defensive signals before each play? St. Louis might have been the town with an NFL dynasty, Kurt Warner might be on the way to the Hall of Fame, and Mike Martz might still be a head coach. The Patriots, with their despicable actions, have inexorably altered the lives and careers of those associated with every team they've played.

What the Patriots have done tears at the very fabric of a game that depends upon a perception of fairness to thrive. This turns the NFL into an enterprise no more real and legitimate than pro wrestling. The NFL blew this one. At the very least, Belichick should have been drummed out of the league forever and the Patriots should have forfeited last week's game. I would have preferred the league confiscate all those ill-gotten and unearned Lombardi trophies. Shame on you, Bill Belichick, and shame on the Patriots.

A final aside: you New England Patriots fans must now hang your head in shame, knowing that none of the team's successes over the past several years were in any way legitimate. Your team won by cheating, your victories are hollow.

Doublespeak

So President Bush breathlessly reports he plans to reduce our Iraq contingent by about 30,000 troops by next summer, hoping to quell the rising chorus demanding we begin bringing our boys and girls home now. Never mind this troop reduction was already planned, based upon standard troop rotations -- rotations that have been expanded from the standard twelve month's duty to eighteen. Never mind that this "redeployment" only brings troop levels back to the numbers in Iraq before Bush's "surge."

Only about thirty percent of Americans trust this man anymore anyways. Why does he continue to throw this garbage in our faces? Is it some aimless effort at maintaining that thirty percent? Why is he still wasting our time with this claptrap? Does he hope the mindless dolts running the mainstream media will report his misconstructions as fact and that the rest of us will meekly accept it on faith?

The wheels fell off this one a long time ago, George. The people at large no longer believe a single word emanating from your pie-hole, and with good reason. And your lackeys in your failed administration and your hobbled military are now no more believable than you.

A Generation of Weenies, or

Enhancing Self Esteem At the Expense of Excellence Is a Bad Idea


My son just started his first season of Pop Warner flag football. It just so happens his team is pretty good. It's a good group of kids, they have a great coaching staff that seems to have somehow melded a bunch of six-year olds into a cohesive, disciplined unit, and the parents are largely supportive. They are so good there is really no drop-off from the first to second string. As a result, we're rolling over the other teams on our schedule. And our head coach may be running the risk of getting in trouble for it.

You see, Pop Warner has this rule preventing teams from running up the score. You know, we don't want little Johnny to think he's inferior because his team is getting its butt whipped. If a coach doesn't take drastic measures to prevent his team from running it up (in our case, telling his kids to quit trying, since the second string is almost as effective as the first) he can face disciplinary measures, including suspension.

But I happen to think the alternative -- telling kids to quit trying because they might embarrass the other guys -- might be just as damaging. When you teach a kid that it's wrong to try to win, and win big, you're teaching him that winning somehow doesn't really matter all that much. You're fooling him into thinking that life is somehow "fair."

Life is not fair. Some people lose, some win. Some win big while others lose big. Maybe that's a harsh lesson for six-year olds to come to grips with, but it's reality. And I really don't think those six-year olds getting their butts whipped need this extra enhancement of their self esteem at the expense of penalizing the excellence of their opponents. I worry that this type of hand-holding will not in fact result in a more self-actualized esteem, but instead will only create a generation of weenies who can't understand why life has treated them so badly. Just my two cents.

Bush's Weapons Of Mass Deception

Sidney Blumenthal reports in his latest Salon article that CIA Chief George Tenet told George W. Bush in a briefing in September of 2002 that the agency had solid information Iraq and Saddam Hussein harbored no weapons of mass destruction. This briefing was described to Blumenthal by two former high-ranking officials at the CIA. Blumenthal further notes that not only did Bush ignore this information, he also forbid this information from being disseminated to then-Secretary of State Colin Powell or to the members of Congress who thereafter voted to authorize his use of force in Iraq.

So the short story is this: Bush knew there were no weapons in Iraq, but he wanted his war so bad he lied to Powell, Congress and the American people to get it. He played the "politics of fear" card so loud for so long (and, we now know for certain, so disingenuously) that in the end he got what he wanted: to be known as a "war time" president.

Where does this leave us? It seems obvious now he is guilty of "high crimes and misdemeanors" and should be impeached Constitutionally, yet we know we don't have the votes in the Senate to convict and remove.

A lot of people on the left are kind of mad at the Democratic Congress right now for not showing the courage to end the war or impeach Bush. However, I lay this right at the feet of the Republicans. Where are the Republican statesmen who put principle over party? The Republicans who voted to impeach Clinton for getting a hummer but give Bush a free ride for lying us into a horrible and unwinable war that has cost thousands of American lives and maybe a million Iraqi ones?

What a sorry state of affairs this is.

Arizona Is Melting; Dove Hunting Report

Just got back from beautiful Dateland, Arizona, where I partook in our annual Labor Day Weekend dove hunt, and all I can say is: "Good God it was hot!" Of course, one expects a bit of heat when venturing into the Arizona desert on the first of September.

(Saner minds, such as my wife's, might question the wisdom of being outdoors in 117 degree heat just to fire our shotguns, in a largely futile manner, at speeding little gray missiles. To that I say: hogwash. Any day firing the lightening stick is a good day, even if it's hot enough to melt glass. Besides, as my Dad put it, "at least it was a wet heat.")

Well, we got our birds, although it was a challenge because Arizona has this arcane and indefensible rule that a hunter may only shoot six white-wing doves per day, reserving the rest of his or her ten-dove limit for the usually more populous mourning dove. Except that the place we shot was populated almost entirely by white-wings. So hunts that might have ended after forty-five minutes were extended to two hours -- in the searing heat -- as we let bird after bird fly by, looking for the lone mourning doves who had "integrated" themselves into the heretofore exclusive white-wing family.

This annoying habit of letting perfectly shootable birds pass produced much consternation in the dogs. I'm used to the look; I've seen the same facial expression on my dog when I fail to shoot at the hen pheasants she's so fond of flushing.

But, as I said, we got our birds and then immediately repaired to the swimming pool, surrounded by beer coolers, where we waited out the afternoon heat, sunk up to our necks in warm water. By the time the bright orb in the sky finally sank, the young ones among us were so shriveled they looked to be fifty, and the older ones looked like corpses. Just another three days in paradise.