Rush Limbaugh Is a Big Fat . . . NFL Owner?

As a card-carrying self-avowed liberal as well as long standing Rams fan, I was naturally aghast at the news noted fat blowhard (and Hillbilly Heroin addict) Rush Limbaugh is heading a prospective ownership group trying to buy the Rams.

Good God. Haven't we Rams fans suffered enough? The Rams this year, quite possibly, are fielding the worst NFL team in history. We have no hope of winning, our players merely trying to get out of the stadium each Sunday with a modicum of dignity still intact. The Vikings, whom we play today, are averaging more points per game than we've scored all season. Moreover, other than that short, glorious period when we were known as The Greatest Show On Turf, the Rams have been the laughingstock of the league for over two decades.

Much of that ineptitude, of course, sprang from the wretched ownership of one Georgia Frontiere. Through her penny-pinching ways and inability -- or unwillingness -- to hire good football people to run the team she oversaw a franchise truly remarkable in its ineptitude. Indeed, the Rams are just 5 - 31 since the beginning of the 2007 season. I doubt we could beat USC.

But Frontiere died in January 2008, thereby giving the Ram's legion of long-suffering fans reason for hope. Her children, Chip Rosenbloom and Lucia Rodriguez, inherited controlling interest in the team. They proceeded to shock Ram's fans everywhere by actually hiring experienced football people to remake the front office. Then they lured respected defensive coordinator Steve Spagnuolo away from the Giants to run the team. Spagnuolo cut a lot of dead weight and came up with a respectable first college draft. Yeah, we're still awful, but we're one of the youngest teams in the league, and the guys are playing hard; for the first time in years there seems to be light at the end of the tunnel.

Alas, it appears that light is an oncoming train in the form of Mr. Limbaugh, a fat, reactionary racist who has been paid far too much money to spew his mindless venom over the airwaves all these years. We have a tough time attracting free agents as it is, yet dozens of players have already said they would never consider playing for a team with Limbaugh as owner.

And what of the fans? Could I in good conscience continue to support a team with Mr. Hillbilly Heroin as its titular leader? Politically, I am diametrically opposed to everything for which this soulless man stands. The thought of rooting for this Neanderthal to succeed in anything fills me with a self-loathing that makes my physically ill. Please Mr. Commissioner Goodell, tell me it's not so. Tell me you won't let this happen. Is it too late for me to become a Charger's fan?