More Random Thoughts On the Day's News

Good God, the Clintons must be at rock bottom to accuse Barack Obama of plagiarism for using his signature line "Yes We Can" in his stump speech. This is such a mundane and familiar line in normal, everyday conversation that claiming someone should attribute it to someone else is just nonsensical. What, was Mr. Obama supposed to have referenced "The Little Engine Who Could?"

Meanwhile, here in Southern California, mistreatment of animals, including slaughtering for human consumption so-called "downed cows," has sparked the recall of millions of pounds of beef, most of it apparently already consumed by unsuspecting customers. These injured and/or diseased animals were stabbed by forklift tongs, kicked, had their eyes poked and were even water-boarded in an effort to get them to walk to the slaughterhouse, since FDA regulations prohibit adding meat from these "downed cows" to the human food supply.

There is a special place in hell reserved for the degenerates who perpetrated these atrocities. Cows may be among the dumbest creatures on this green earth, but no animal deserves to be treated like that.

This is just another, mind-numbing example of runaway corporatism fostered by decades of conservative, do-nothing government. In this case, the company was trying to squeeze every last dollar out of these cows; you see, dead meat is worth more if it's turned into hamburger rather than dog food or pig slop, which is what's supposed to happen to downed cows. And they've been able to get away with it because the FDA has been effectively neutered by Bush and Co. May a conservative Republican be the first person in this country to contract Mad Cow disease because downed cows have entered the food supply.

So the Lakers stole Pao Gasol and the Mavericks finally made the Jason Kidd deal work, but the best the Suns could do was acquire a fat, geriatric center, with a huge, guaranteed contract and who is year's past his prime? What, Wes Unseld was unavailable? In one, fell swoop the Shaq deal turns the Suns from the most exciting team in the NBA into another plodding, grind-it-out collection of underachievers.

Why Are There Libs Who Hate Clinton or Obama?

If I hear one more "progressive" say they won't vote for Obama because of this, or Hillary because of that, I'm going to go screaming into the night. What planet are these yo-yo's living on, that they'd rather have another four years of Republican rule than one of the remaining Democrats because of what they perceive as some flaw in one or both of them?

Listen, people, we are almost done suffering through eight years of the worst presidential rule in our nation's history, and the Republican candidate is actually running on a platform of continuing that sad legacy. At this point, any Democrat is preferable to Grandpa McCain and his "straight off the cliff express."

Sure, there were at least four other Democrats running this year I'd prefer over what we've got left. But I got over it, and so should you. I've never particularly cared for Hillary, and considered her the least palatable of the entire bunch at the start. But you know what, if she wins the nomination -- even if she steals it at the convention -- she's got my vote, because I firmly believe another four years of this crap sends the country irreparably down the toilet.

Sure, Obama lacks "experience," whatever that lame term is supposed to mean. Hell, Bush had plenty of "experience," and look what that got us. And who says experience is necessary for this job anyway? Some of our best presidents (see Lincoln or Kennedy) came to the job with little practical experience. Besides, I think Obama is smart enough to do something Bush never quite mastered -- probably because he never attempted it: learn on the job.

And sure, Hillary voted for the war and won't apologize. So what. It's not her fault we were all lied into this mess, and hindsight is 20-20, as they say. The point is that she vows to get us out in short order, while McCain says we'll be there for another 100 years. (Which, of course, is impossible, because another five or ten years of this, much less 100, and we'll be a bankrupted hulk of a former super-power unable to finance a war with Guam, much less Iraq or Iran.)

The point, people, is get over yourselves. We've got to elect either Obama or Clinton, because if McCain wins this thing future historians will assuredly refer to the United States as "the shortest-reigning imperial power in world history," and your grandchildren will hate your guts. Do you want that to be your legacy?

Stick a Fork In Hillary -- She's Done

Hillary Clinton's campaign is making a great show of being optimistic, of pointing towards March primaries in Texas and Ohio they think she can win, but it's time to face the music. Obama rolled over her tonight, winning by double-digit margins, and he'll roll over her again next week in Wisconsin. By the time Texas and Ohio come around, she'll need to win with sixty or sixty-five percent of the vote just to get back into the race, and that's not going to happen. The music has ended; this dance is over.

Personally, I think this is a good thing. By the time George W. Bush leaves office we will have had twenty years of rule by either a Bush or a Clinton. All the anguished Hillary supporters need to get over it and realize something about America: this is not a monarchy, people. It's time for some new blood.

The real question now is, does McCain stand a chance against Obama in November? The smart money is saying: when pigs fly. With McCain running as Bush-lite during this primary season in order to win the nomination, he can't possibly distance himself enough from the worst and most reviled president in history to win the general election. Unless Obama commits an unpardonable sin between now and November, we're going to make history by electing the first African-American president in history.

More Random Thoughts On the Day's News

In just three years, Britney Spears has gone from pop star to laughing-stock to sympathetic figure worthy of our empathy. Has anyone not named Orenthal James ever fallen so far, so fast?

I'm guessing Celtics fans are pissed this morning. How, they must be wondering, could David Stern allow the Lakers to steal Pao Gasol and turn themselves into instant title favorites, what with a front line featuring three seven-footers and a back-court featuring the best player on the planet? Think anyone'd ever write this line: Lamar Odom is the fourth option on the Lakers?

Now that John Edwards is officially out, many of us are confronted with a frightening thought: the dude at the State of the Union uttering the phrase "Madam Speaker, I now introduce President of the United States, Hillary Clinton." Pray for Obama, people.

Tomorrow is Super Bowl Sunday, the unofficial national holiday for most of us. I'm telling you, any presidential contender who campaigns on a platform of "I'll make the Monday after Super Sunday a national day-off" gets my vote.