Nephew's Second Time In Dove Camp

sister <> wrote:

Hey Sid,
I should know the answer to this already, but what kind of shells does my son need, and how boxes should he bring? Could you send us directions to Dateland and to where he needs to go to get his license?
--Sis

Sis,
He needs 12 gauge 2 3/4" shells, field or target load, 7 1/2 shot or 8 shot. The way my nephew shoots, I would count on ten or twelve boxes per day.

Take I10 east all the way through Indio to Highway 86S. Take 86S all the way to Westmorland.

In Wesmorland, turn right (south) on Center Street. Center Street turns into Forrester Road. Take Forrester Road south to I8 east. This will save him about 45 minutes by bypassing Brawley and El Centro. I know, Brawley is the "garden spot" of the Imperial Valley, but he can see it another time.

Take I8 east to Dateland exit, about 66 miles east of Yuma. Turn right (south) off of the freeway, go past trailer park on right, and turn left (east) at dead end. In a couple of miles he'll see the trailer park on the right, over the railroad tracks. I don't remember what it's called, but he can't miss it. There's nothing else out there except cactus and meth labs.

For his license: they've opened a new Walmart in the east side of Yuma. Take I8 all the way through Yuma and exit at 32nd St. (this exit may be signed as East County 11th Street South, which immediately turns into 32nd Street. Arizona's road names are more messed-up than any other state's except California and Utah. In any case, it's the last exit before Fortuna Road). The Walmart is on 32nd Street (or maybe 11th Street South, the geniuses at Walmart weren't sure), on the south side of the freeway. You can see it from the Interstate.

A non-resident year-long license costs $151.25; a three-day is $61.25. For either he needs to buy the $4.50 migratory bird stamp. Make sure he fills out a Harvest Information Survey and gets the free Harvest Information stamp. He's got to have the license and both stamps to be legal. At those prices he might want to consider the new alternatives offered by Arizona for purchasing his non-resident license: a pound of flesh or his first male-born child.

Tell him not to assume the idiots working the counter at Walmart know what they're doing. It took me four phone calls to find somebody who could give me directions to the store, and even then they weren't sure if the exit was signed "32nd St." or "East County 11th." I'm assuming they all have bunks in the warehouse, since nobody who works there knows how to get there.

Tell my nephew we're gonna' eat doves on Saturday and spaghetti on Sunday. Dad's gonna' bring the sausage, but I made sure he got half hot and half sweet -- another batch of that hot sauce we choked down at Rock Creek probably wouldn't go down so well at 112 degrees in the shade.

I don't know what Dad has planned for Monday -- if my nephew can stay -- but I'm sure he'll get fed. I've got plenty of hot dogs and chili for chili/cheese dogs by the pool. He needs to bring his own munchies, drinks and beer.

Yes, I said beer. I know he's only eighteen, but he needs to learn the ways, and I'm tired of him bumming beers off me. Besides he doesn't seem to approve of my taste. Just what's wrong with Pabst Blue Ribbon, anyways?

Give me a call if you have any questions. Tell my nephew I'll see him in Arizona.

Your brother,
Sid